From Redditor u/CaterpillarWeak893:

I took my 1-week vacation last week. I didn’t have any plans to travel and wanted to rest at home. I already met my deadlines, so I didn’t think there would be anything pressing that my team members couldn’t handle.

When my boss found out I would still be in the country, she mentioned in the team meeting that I would have to be on-call and work during my vacation. In the past, my boss had blown up my cell phone and Teams when I was away sick or at an approved appointment because an issue occurred. My boss relied on me to advise and solve issues even though she joined the team around the same time I did. I would always try to refuse, but my boss would guilt trip or intimidate me into working.

While I was on vacation, my boss texted and called me about an issue, but I had enough and ignored it. My job is demanding since I put in 15-20 hours of overtime a week, but it’s an entry-level position. I don’t think they need me to advise and offer solutions, but supposedly, no one else in the company can.

When I returned to work yesterday, I opened my Teams to a great deal of missed messages and some deleted messages from my boss. My boss immediately called a team meeting to criticize me and told me I abandoned my duty during an emergency. I let my team members down, who had to work overtime, and I showed no care for my work. I knew I was supposed to be on-call and ready to work since I was going to be home all week and blindsided them.

I feel that if I’m on vacation, I should be allowed to take a break. On the other side, I was at home all week and could have accessed my work laptop. All of the VPs work a few hours every day during their vacation. (I’m not a VP, as some commenters were confused.)

AITA?

From Redditor u/TAbademployee:

So, I have been a SAHM for several years. I worked very hard on our budget, shopping, and meal prep, and we were OK.
We recently became empty nesters. The last one moved out, pays her own bills, got a scholarship, etc.

I was bored, so I decided to take one of the many grocery store jobs available at the store across the street. My intent was part-time, but they quickly moved me to a different, full-time position, which I do like and I’m good at and pays quite a bit more.

The store is short-staffed, and I have been doing my best to help. Recently, my manager sat me down with her boss (witness) to have a “documented discussion” about how I am not a team player because I won’t help other departments even though I am struggling to get my own stuff done because my position should have three people but it’s just me. They wanted me to sign a paper acknowledging that my behavior was unacceptable.

I told my manager, “You need me. I don’t need you. In my previous position in management, I learned it will cost your store an average of 10k to hire and train a replacement. I also know you have a ‘walk-in interviews welcome’ sign outside every day, and you all are stressing about how short-staffed you are and have limited applications. So no, I won’t sign this. Feel free to fire me. There are 10 stores within a mile that also offer walk-in interviews. So, no, I won’t sign this. You can accept that or replace me, and I really don’t care if you mark me as not eligible for rehire. I’ll just leave you off my resume and do just fine.”

Still have a job 3 days later, and everyone is acting like nothing happened, but some people are saying I am being the AH because the management is also struggling because they are short-staffed.

From Redditor u/ShamyJane:

I work for a hospital in a new position, and we’ve had a problem with my supervisor just being terrible at his job. Like, so terrible that people he doesn’t supervise also hate him.

He doesn’t reply to emails, gives us vague instructions so that if we get yelled at, he can say that he didn’t tell us to do whatever we’re getting yelled at for, and the biggest problem is that he doesn’t properly staff the shifts.

We are supposed to take 2 fifteen minute breaks and a thirty-minute lunch every day, but we’re not allowed to leave our positions unattended, so there needs to be at least one person not assigned to a specific position to give us breaks. He doesn’t do this. As a result, most of us don’t get breaks.

He recently called out the staff for eating food while not on lunch. This really angered me because the reason we weren’t taking lunches was because of his stupid schedule.

I decided to write him an email and CC his boss. I asked him what he would like us to do for lunch because there wasn’t anyone to cover. He sent back a reply without the CC vaguely telling me to have a person at another post cover my lunch but not directly saying it.

I replied and CC’d his boss back in and laid out what specifically he was asking me to do and made him confirm that he wanted me to have one of the posts unattended to give me my breaks. He confirmed and then told me to stop CC’ing his boss.

I was talking to one of the other people he supervises, and they said it was wrong of me to get his boss involved, but I really don’t think I would have gotten a reply otherwise. This break problem has been one that he’s gotten yelled at for before, and I think he’ll likely get yelled at again because he hasn’t done anything about it.

AITA for getting my boss’s boss involved?

From Redditor u/themthrowawaystaken:

I (24M) am getting married in 2 weeks. I have invited my boss to my wedding. Yesterday, he asked me if I could tell my wife (25F) to give her bouquet to his girlfriend, one of the bridesmaids, rather than throw it in the air, and he’ll propose then.

The thing is I can adjust to this, but a few years ago, my fiancée looked at one of these types of videos on FB and said, “This is bad. People shouldn’t even ask the bride for help doing this, and put her in a dilemma.” We were friends back then. So I said no to my boss without asking her. He got really angry and said I didn’t even ask my wife to be, and I am bending in front of her even before marriage, what will happen when I get married, etc. He said he would get the perfect scenery for the proposal and all.

ATIA for ruining this for my boss? We’re getting married at a very beautiful place owned by her aunt. So it could make nice memories for him.

From Redditor u/GoodNight-GoodBye:

Recently, at work, we had to do mandatory training. Our District Manager and  Regional Manager came in to ensure that we were all doing the training, and some people got overtime for coming in to do it.

How it went was a couple of people who were scheduled would take the training and then trade off with the next person. The training is an hour long. A little longer if you have additional questions.

Everyone was finishing theirs, and I was the last person to take it. Now, since I was the last person, our Regional and the District Manager decided to leave since being down one person wouldn’t affect our work. Except, my boss decided being down one person was literally going to wreck her store.

She kept pulling me off the computer every two minutes to have me do something that I wasn’t needed for like, we need people on register. I’m not trained on the register. We need someone to clean the bathrooms, that’s maintenance, and the bathrooms are also closed.

After two hours of this, I finally told her that I needed to finish this video (I was ten minutes in), and if she wasn’t going to let me, I was going to call the Regional and the District Manager in here to make her leave me alone.

She’s now acting like that was the worst thing in the world, and she’s walking on eggshells around me. I finished the lesson, but I feel like I was a bit too harsh with her. I can understand her stress because we have a big inventory coming up, but we were fully staffed that day.

The training was over heavy equipment training because, recently, someone’s foot got run over by a forklift, and it was bad. It was in my region too, so they were mad. I have to retake my training to ensure that everyone is certified and operating the machines safely.

From Redditor u/Practical_Test840:

I’ve worked at a franchise for 6 years. I also have a second job that I’ve been at for 3 years. I have set days where I’ll work job 1 on Wednesday-Friday and job 2 Monday-Tuesday.

This morning, my colleague called in sick at job 1. My boss from job 1 called me, and I told him sorry, that I am at another job today, like usual. He said he understood and hung up the phone.

30 minutes later, I get a call from job 2, just as I’m about to leave. They let me know that my boss from job 1 called them and said he needed me at job 1. I was absolutely mortified and told job 2 that I would absolutely be coming in to work today.

I wound up calling back job 1 and telling them not to expect me back this week or ever again because my boss had hugely overstepped a boundary. My boss hit the roof instantly and said he would sue me, due to needing to close the business for the days I’m not there. I welcomed him to try.

So I’m sitting here now at job 2. I spoke to my boss and told her that I’d be going full-time, as they had been begging me to do so for the past year. My phone is blowing up from my boss and colleagues at job 1 because I didn’t give them notice, and now the business will suffer, and my colleagues will miss out on money due to the store being closed. I feel bad about it, but I’m so angry and embarrassed after this morning.

From Redditor u/Other-Importance:

I work in a small building. Our break room is in the workroom, and the table where the staff eats lunch is on the other side of my boss’s office. Often, when I take my lunch, my boss will come out of her office and back into the kitchen area and ask me questions about work-related things.

At first, I didn’t mind, but lately, it’s gotten annoying. I’m very introverted and like to use my lunch to recharge before I have to go back out and interact with customers. Also, I just want a break and to eat my lunch in peace without having someone ask me questions.

The other day, I was in the middle of eating and watching a video on my phone, and she started asking my opinion on ways to implement a new company policy. I politely asked her if I could wait to give her my ideas after I was done eating, and she looked surprised and mildly annoyed. She said, “Sure,” and huffed off to her office. I’m now wondering if I did something wrong.

I feel it’s only fair that she leave me alone during my lunch break, especially when no one is allowed to disturb her during hers. She takes lunch in her office, closes the door, or leaves and goes out. When I told some friends about asking her not to bother me, they acted like I was overreacting. Was I?

From Redditor u/freeefinally:

I got hired for this salaried job where they really hyped up the work-life balance and reasonable hours in the job interview, like how they never expect people to stay late or work on weekends or holidays.

That turned out to be BS. My boss got my personal phone number off my resume from when I applied, and after not long, he was blowing up my phone on nights and weekends, asking me to come to work.

I’d never answer. Then when he’d ask on Monday why I wasn’t answering my phone, I’d pull out my work phone like, “Sorry, are you sure you had the right number? I’m not seeing any missed calls,” and he’d often say he called my personal cell so I’d say that I don’t really use it much, I leave it home a lot, and when I do check it I’ve usually got like 40 missed calls and my voicemail is always full so I probably miss stuff unless I’m expecting a call at a certain time. And that if he needs to reach me, he should try my work phone because I’m very careful to follow up on any call to that one within 1 business day.

He asked me how he could reach me outside of 9 to 5 because he sees I leave my work phone on my desk at night and over the weekend. I said that, honestly, I’m not glued to any phone on the weekend, so if he needs me to take a call on the weekend, could he make it a meeting request and put it on my calendar, so I know to be available? If I know I won’t be available to take a call, I can suggest an alternate time to call.

He said that wasn’t really gonna work for him. Often things come up last minute, and when he calls people on the weekend, it wasn’t planned. And that he’s not calling for a teleconference meeting, he’s calling asking people to come in.

I said that on the weekends, I usually have commitments that were made one to three weeks out, and I’m not often able to cancel a previous commitment with under a day’s notice. So if he needs me in on a weekend, it’d be best if he could schedule that three weeks out so that I know not to make conflicting plans.

He said that wasn’t possible, and I said okay, he could try and reach out, and I’d answer the phone if I heard it ringing, but I wasn’t always on the phone, so I might not catch it.

Anyway, I’ve gone back to ignoring his calls, and my coworkers have gotten kinda frustrated with me, saying that coming in on weekends is part of the job and that I wasn’t pulling my weight. I said I didn’t know what job they signed on for, but in my job interview, I was promised regular hours and took my pay based on regular hours, so I’m working regular hours.

My coworkers got frustrated and said that if everyone did what I was doing, nothing would get done. I said maybe nothing should get done then if it’s coming at the cost of y’all not being home for dinner with the family.

I don’t really think my coworkers see it as an option to say no, so they’re angry at me because I’m doing it, and they’re not comfortable doing it.

AITA for not working evenings or weekends?

From Redditor u/May_I_pet_your_dog_:

I have been working as a Legal Assistant with a law firm for over six years and walked off the job yesterday in a fit of rage. For these six years, it has been a wonderful relationship – my employer is a solo practitioner, and I was his first and only Legal Assistant until yesterday’s events.

My employer recently hired a new Associate who took it upon herself to treat me like absolute sh*t. As a Legal Assistant, my duties are LEGAL related, ie; editing and drafting documents, calendar management, processing client payments, filing documents at court, phone coverage, etc.

However, the new Associate assigned me her PERSONAL duties: grocery shopping, driving across town in traffic to buy her favorite chocolates, making returns to clothing stores, driving to her house to let maintenance technicians in, etc. She yelled at me a lot. I would get panic attacks and dreaded coming to work. I would have no problem performing these duties if I were a PERSONAL Assistant, but I am a LEGAL Assistant, and my objective is to ensure everyone in my firm has their LEGAL responsibilities in order.

At first, I obliged, seeing as she was new, and I figured my employer would have a word with her. This went on for two months, and every day I grew that much more resentful. Finally, I had a private meeting with my supervisor a few weeks ago and even typed up a note detailing my frustrations and how I am being taken advantage of. He promised me he would speak with her, but her demands continued.

Yesterday was the last straw. While working at my desk, I overheard her talking about me to our Receptionist. She wasn’t exactly pleasant – stating how I’m not up to par with her standards and how she spoke to my boss about me. She was telling our Receptionist how much they paid me and said she wanted to lower my pay. My blood started boiling, and I could feel myself about to lose my sh*t.

I have no idea what came over me, but I walked over to our filing cabinet, pulled out all of our folders, and dumped all their contents to the floor. I imagine it was about 40-50 clients’ worth of papers. I then grabbed my things and walked out of the office before telling the Associate, “Go f*ck yourself, you stupid b*tch.” She was absolutely shocked.

At my home, I was seething. Still pissed off when I got home, I texted my boss saying I would not be returning to work Monday and that he’d have to find himself another Assistant. Both have tried calling, texting, and e-mailing me, but I haven’t responded, except for one text where I sent her the middle finger emoji.

This morning, I felt a twinge of guilt, as I know it was HER that made me miserable and not him, but then again, there was no loyalty there.

From Redditor u/Resident_Climate_392:

I was assigned three projects at work; two I love and one I hate. I told management I would support the hated project as long as I kept the other two. They agreed as this aligned with my development plan (which they approved). The two are how I want to develop, the third is not.

The company has an immense amount of work that needs to be done but not enough employees to do it. This has led my organization to eliminate certain projects from the portfolio. My two projects were eliminated. When I say eliminated, I mean transferred to a sister department. They were not canceled. This decision was not made because I was too busy (I’m not, I have the capacity to support all three projects) but because they didn’t want to give me a second resource to support it (two resources are needed per project). The sister group has the needed secondary resources. The dumbest thing about this decision is that we are constantly told by management that we are all “one group.” Yes, there are some differences (think I support dark chocolate, and they support milk chocolate), but we all support the same thing (chocolate).

The two projects should be completed this year. I’ve spent the last 2-3 years working on the development and was looking forward to completion. But now I have to transfer to someone who hasn’t done jack and will take it across the finish line and reap all the benefits. These projects are complex compared to the rest of the portfolio, so these would have guaranteed a promotion for me as well as given me a blockbuster resume. This elimination decision was made behind my back. I was informed AFTER they discussed with the persons I am transferring them to. They cut me out as they knew I would not willingly transfer them. Had I been involved in the discussion, I would have suggested that since we are all “one group” I could still be the lead and work with a secondary from the other department to finish the project. With the finish line months away, it makes more sense to not disrupt the entire team at the last minute. This would solidify the “one group” vision they are pushing and be a great example for the entire department. But that didn’t happen. So I’m left with a project I hate and now get to watch two people take victory for my hard work.

During the first 1:1 with my manager, after this all happened, I knew this would get brought up. So when he started trying to explain the rationale, I almost verbatim said, “No further explanation is needed and that I respectfully don’t want to discuss it anymore, especially since these are no longer within my assignments.” He pushed again, saying, “Well, I feel an explanation…” but I cut him off and said “his feelings are for therapy” and I’d rather use my 1:1 time to discuss the projects I am assigned as well as my career development.

AITA?

From Redditor u/tiancrow:

I work in a tech consulting job. I’m the only woman on the team, and my boss told me I was coming off “harsh” with clients and should be more upbeat and smile more. It felt… icky.

I right away texted my group chat of coworkers (without the management in it) asking, “Has BossMan ever told any of you guys to smile more?’

It was an immediate round of nos, and a couple of my coworkers asked if he said that to me and pointed out the double standard. A few of my coworkers joked that some of the clients we have right now don’t give them anything to smile about.

So I asked if any of them had ever been called harsh, and it was again all nos.

I told them that the boss had told me to smile more, and one of my coworkers sent me a picture of a girl pulling a silly face with a weird pinched smile and bug-out eyes saying, “Well, what BossMan says, he gets.”

I thought that was hilarious and decided to actually do it.

Anyway, I started smiling more and more around my boss… But also a bit stupid. Just kept my mouth pinched tensely, gums on display, and purposely pulled my chin back towards my neck so I’d get a double chin.

I never did it in front of actual clients, just my boss and coworkers who were in on the joke. And my boss kept looking uncomfortable when I did.

He asked me at a meeting about a week in, what that face I was pulling was. I said, “Uhh, what face?” He said “That one, just a second ago.” and my coworker said, “What, she was just smiling? What are you getting at her for?”

My boss said, “It looked like she was pulling a face,” and my other coworker pulled out his phone where he had some pictures from a recent happy hour, where I was pulling that face to make my coworkers laugh. And he said, “Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? That’s literally her smile? Look at this picture from last Friday.” All of my coworkers backed him up, saying that was just how I smile.

My boss was looking kinda incredulous, so I clarified that if something makes me spontaneously laugh or grin, it probably looks a little more relaxed, but when I’m just putting on a smile to be polite or pose for a picture, I guess that’s how I smile. And I was trying to be polite after he let me know I was coming off “harsh” in meetings.

Anyway, at my next one-on-one meeting, my boss said I didn’t need to change my demeanor that much based on his comments, because, honestly, it was coming off disingenuous, and that would look worse in front of clients.

I just said, “Yeah, I guess I’ve never really been good at being super peppy without it looking fake.”

And as far as I know, that was the end of that. Except for it becoming a running joke at the office that I look like Nigel Thornberry. Which is a pretty smashing nickname, honestly.

But I feel a little bad that I was, basically, gaslighting my boss and my coworkers were in on it instead of being direct with him and just saying that he was coming across as a bit sexist.

AITA for my fake smile thing?

From Redditor u/TAsalary:

I worked at my first job for 6 years. They trained me from ground zero on everything. I had a great boss (who fought for my promotions, etc. – in those 6 years, my salary doubled).

I got an offer from a more prestigious company with better growth opportunities and double the salary. We’re talking substantial money (120k vs 250k). I quit without thinking twice and thought it was more respectful not to ask my old boss to use any of his political capital to get me a match (he couldn’t, part of my new comp is stock in the new company, and the salary is likely more than his pay). So, I simply gave him my notice and explained my transition plan.

My boss was truly devastated and very, very angry. We both stayed professional throughout the discussion, but it got heated, and he questioned my loyalty as if it were a character flaw. I said my view is I paid him and the company back with my hard work, so we’re at the very least even. Arguably, they got a bargain deal because I could have jumped ship for more money 2 years ago. [EDIT: I didn’t say this last sentence out loud.]

Should I have handled any of this differently? My wife and some friends say I’m being rather cold and calculating. I should have shown more loyalty since the company gave me so much. I think it’s disrespectful to assume I didn’t give them anything less than enough in return – I know my worth and contribution to the company’s bottom line.

I’ve seen people walk out of the door after 2 decades with a “pink slip” and no one shed a tear the morning after. I respect my old boss, but what the hell is “loyalty to your job” supposed to even mean?

From Redditor u/noomooorebabies:

I have a job that I am currently doing remotely. My boss has a really nasty temper. He is very quick to scream at someone, berate them, call them stupid, worthless, incompetent, etc.

I am looking for a new job right now, but it is hard to get a job with the amount of unemployment and financial struggle currently going on in my area.

A month ago, I was having a bad week. My best friend was in the hospital after a bad car accident, and my boyfriend had left me. When I filed my taxes I found out that I owed over 1,000 bucks, and money was extremely tight. I had not been able to afford an appointment with my therapist in over a month. I was at my breaking point. I was so worried for my friend, lonely after being dumped, worried about making my bills that month, etc.

And my boss started yelling at me in a Zoom call about something. I’d been having a tough day anyway, and I just broke down and cried. I stopped responding to him, just kinda going blank and sobbing as he got awkward about it.

I’ve honestly often felt like I’ve wanted to cry when he goes off like that, but I always held it back. That was the first time I just couldn’t.

I felt so embarrassed. He ended the call, and I laid down in bed for a bit and cried. Then, a few days later, I realized it was the only thing that had ever gotten him to stop screaming for such a while. Under 5 minutes, and he’d honestly seemed embarrassed and not knowing how to handle it.
So the next time he lost his temper, a few weeks later, I wasn’t feeling quite so sad. I could have controlled it. But I just let all my fear, tension, and stress out and started quietly tearing up. And he again shut up and hung up.

Two weeks later, he started to go off on me about something I hadn’t even done, and I just took a deep breath, like I was feeling bad, and he clammed the hell up. It was bizarre, and it was like he didn’t know how to handle someone getting sad instead of angry and feeling embarrassed or something.

And it’s been the longest it’s ever been that he hasn’t freaked out on me or a group I’ve been in.

I was laughing about it with one of my friends, like what a f*cking blowhard who tries to upset people but doesn’t know what to do when someone looks upset. She thought it was weirdly manipulative to act like I’m gonna lose it whenever he does that.

AITA for looking like I’m gonna cry on purpose after I accidentally found out it’s the only thing that makes my boss feel bad about berating me for a long time?

From Redditor u/Impressive-Bug6473:

I am M24, and my wife is F25. She is my high school sweetheart. We’ve been together since we were 18 and went through uni together too. We married last year, and, overall, everything is going really well. This year, she started a job in a fashion store (it’s her first job ever), and she really enjoys it there.

So she frequently goes to after-work dinners and drinks with her co-workers, most of which are male. I’m fine with that, I fully trust her and know she would never want to cheat. Also, she always tells me everything and doesn’t leave out details. I know all of her co-workers, including her boss. I’ve met them a few times before.

So the other day, she tells me that after one of those evening outs with her co-workers, she was walking with her boss back to the store to pick something up at around 4 am, and he tried to kiss her. She, of course, pulled away right away (I believe her), and she went home to me to tell me straight away. Of course, I am freaking out. I don’t like this one bit. Her boss knows me, and he knows we are married.

So, the next morning, I gathered my thoughts and told her straight up that I would like her to quit her job. I don’t feel comfortable with her working there anymore. She says I’m overreacting, she would never do anything with him, and she loves her job and enjoys getting paid.

She is not even considering looking for something else. She really wants to stay there, but I feel super uncomfortable. She said she wouldn’t go for drinks alone with her boss anymore, but honestly, that’s not enough for me.

AITA for asking her to quit her job?

From Redditor u/shielelcoetre:

My GF (23F) and I (24M) have been together for over 2 years. While I’m finishing my last year of my degree, she has started working as a physiotherapist.

She joined a group of practitioners in another village, which is 2 hours away from where I study, so, obviously, we don’t see each other as much as we used to. Therefore, I have promised to keep as many weekends free for her as possible, giving up time with my own family and friends. I don’t mind this because I love her and enjoy spending time with her.

Recently, her new boss is getting married and invited my GF over to the wedding and said I could come too. Since the wedding falls on a Saturday, my GF thought I would be coming, so she RSVP’d. I am kind of annoyed because I really don’t feel like going to a wedding when I literally don’t know a soul, and she would know three people tops. When I told her (this was like 3 weeks ago) she got mad and said that I already was breaking my promise to her.

I feel like I did not break any promise. I still kept the weekend free for her, like I told her. She is not obligated to attend the wedding and certainly, can’t force me to go. I told her she could go if she wanted to but that I would be without me. If she wants to spend time together, she will not go.

She still calls me an a**hole over this, is still mad at me, and brings it up anytime she can, which drives me nuts. My mom also tells me I’m in the wrong, but my friends think I should stand my ground.